Reason #2

for Why I Think I'm Going to Suck as a Mom....

** Just a note: I got all of these pictures from GoogleImage so don't come back and blame me for plagiarizing or copying... Trust me, I know all about that stuff. That is what I deal with every day. And here's my source: EVERYTHING IS FROM GOOGLE.COM! OK, now get ready for some fun:

Quick Recap:

Last post I said I was going to suck as a mother because I put a cat in time out and was scared of what I would do to my own little people. That's reason #1.

Flash Forward:

This is why I'm going to suck as a mother (reason #2). I think that when you (as a mother) see these pictures, you are supposed to feel the urgent need of rushing to the poor child with armed with hugs, kisses, Band Aids, and (if you are super mom) a small bottle of spray-on Neosporin.... you know, all the regular motherly instincts. Instead, I just laugh.

(I saw the above pic on a friend's blog and couldn't stop laughing for about 10 minutes... this kid's face KILLS me!!)

"I've wracked my little Duprees!"
(Name that movie...)

And the winner is.....

I definitely think that when I am a mother, the only reason why I will EVER clean that glass sliding door is just to see my poor Baby Wheeler run straight into it so that I can die laughing. Oh man.

I'm horrible.

PS. This is the most posts I've ever posted in a month! Yes! :)

Time Out

Background Story #1:

This is Lila... I got this pic off of Andrea's blog. :)

So Ben and I got a kitty named Lila. She's about 2 months old and super cute. She's fun to play with and loves to cuddle.

She also has claws and teeth (Shocker, I know... a cat with claws and teeth?! Who would have thought?). We haven't de-clawed her or anything cuz it doesn't hurt at all. When she bites you, it feels more like she's scratching an itch on your hand.... or your chin.... or your toes.... now she's into ears...

Background Story #2:



I got into an accident (on a bike) and hurt both of my knees pretty bad. They were scratched up and bruised and oh goodness, they hurt. I couldn't bend them at all for what felt like forever. Waking up was the worst... I hate a stiff knee, especially in the morning. And going to the bathroom... ugh. Next time you go to the bathroom, try not to bend either of your knees. Just try. (This may be more information than needed BUT you get the point... and you don't have to try).

It's made my life pretty miserable... not being able to run around for sports and things, taking 5 minutes to walk up those darn Harmon building stairs, waiting another decade for the elevator in the Harmon building.... Anyways, it's been almost 2 weeks since the accident and my knees are feeling a lot better. Actually I take that back, my knee is feeling a lot better. Just the left one. The right one was the one hurt the worse but it's getting better. I still can't walk up stairs normally or run like I used to but it's better. If I bend it the wrong way, it hurts... sorta a cross between an electric shock and someone grabbing my leg right around my knee and breaking it with their bare hands.

So here's why I think I'm going to suck as a mom...

Yesterday I left work early cuz I had a headache (the kind where you wake up with a headache... ugh, I hate those). So I'm laying down on our couch and watching a movie (I think I put in Little Princess, something that I can fall asleep to). The entire time, Lila just wants to play with me so she's jumping up on the couch and racing all over the room trying to get me to throw the ball one more time (I think she used to be a dog at one point...). I finally gave up playing with her. My head hurt and I wanted to sleep.

Totally an accident but Lila jumps up on the couch, which had my leg up on it, with her claws out. That part didn't hurt.... But it surprised me. So, in my surprise, my RIGHT leg shoots up and... get ready for it... bends. THE WRONG WAY!!

Screams, electric shock, breaking leg, tears.....

After the hurting died down and I could move, I put Lila in time out and told, no... I firmly told Lila in a not-inside-appropriate voice, that she was in time out.

A cat in time out.

How ridiculous is that? It was such a weird, mini-freak out moment for me. It's a cat. Not a person. But then I started thinking... oh gosh, what if it was one of my own kids that did something, totally on accident, and I had a weird, mini-freak out moment?? If I put a cat in time out... what would I do to a little person?!

Moral of the story: Yes, I know I'm not a mom so I know it'll probably be different when I get my own kids (I already know there's a difference between cats and little people) .... And I'm sure there will be lots and lots and lots of weird, mini-freak out moments.... But this was the first time that I actually stopped and really thought about having kids... and I'll be honest, it was a little stressful.... and random. What a random time to think about that.

Second moral of the story: Yes, I know the first moral of the story really wasn't a moral of the story. Oh well.



PS. Just so people don't freak out and call me an animal hater or anything... I basically put Lila in her box (Don't freak out yet... she loves the box and when we're not playing with her and she's not following us around, she usually hangs out in there.... she LOVES the box) and told her to stay there. After I did that, I went back to the couch.... and Lila came right back to me. That was her time out.

I Love Surprises!!

I know I really should wait until after my birthday but I'm bored at work right now...

I went to lunch to go play with my new Baby Lila (I'll post more later...) and when I got back to work, this is what I saw:



Thank you everyone who got in on this: Ben, Riena, Lindsay.... everyone! I really needed this today :)

Thanks again!

Countdown...

I just added a countdown ticker thing on my blog... but the ticker is on 0 and not on 4... Oh well.

Nothing Too Exciting...

I figured I would just update everyone on my life right now... that and I'm so incredibly bored at work. Ugh.

1. Ben and I are on 4 different Intramural/City League teams: Co-ed softball (upper division, heck yeah!), Ultimate Frisbee (It's a men's team but girls can be on it if they want to), Men's Softball (I'm not on this one but Ben is and I go and watch... I'll only play if the team forfeits), and finally City League Indoor Soccer. This is basically taking up our lives. Example: This is my schedule for this weekend -- Friday, ward camp out (We're only going to dinner though because of our crazy schedule for Saturday). Saturday, 9:15am co-ed softball game and then at 10:00am we have an ultimate frisbee game. We get a short break for lunch, relaxing, CLEANING OUR HOUSE, and then we go to our soccer game at 3:00pm. Now that I wrote it down it doesn't seem too busy but imagine yourself playing all these sports... I'm going to be exhausted but it's going to be fun! And this is basically how our summer is going to be!! Anyways, we're excited cuz we love being active. Anyways, if you want to come to a game, let me know and I can give you the schedule ( I would definitely suggest coming to co-ed softball... it's a work team that basically rocks!)

2. On a more serious, plan for my future/career side... I've been applying to full-time salary paying jobs on campus. I'm not going to vent anything on here....I'm not going to. For most people who I'm pretty close to, you've already heard everything :) For everyone else, I've recently applied for 4, FOUR, more jobs so please, please, please keep your fingers crossed for me.

3. My goal of eating healthy, cooked meals is going great! I'll be honest, we messed up 3 times this month and went out to eat at Burger Supreme (twice... Ben's new favorite: The Belt Buster) and Gloria's Little Italy. Yum, yum, yum. Definitely recommend Gloria's Little Italy to everyone... It's this super cute little restaurant in South Provo and the food is pretty good but honestly, the people are SO NICE! You really do feel like you're part of the family when you go there. It's a little pricey for 2 poor, college students but I liked it a lot. Anyways, other than that I've been cooking most nights and trying new recipes. I'll post a blog at the end of the month of all the meals (along with pictures) and you can ask for the recipe... So yeah, we're saving a TON of money and we're feeling pretty good about ourselves :)

4. My birthday is coming up! Which I am so excited for because of multiple reasons: (1) I can get free slurpees on my birthday. It's awesome. (most people think this is amazing but really, everyone can get free slurpees on my birthday... but how many people can actually say that?!) and (2) Ben was going to get me either a piano/keyboard (which as much as I want this... the piano that I have my eye on is going to cost roughly the same as the mortgage of a small house, one of the two kidneys that Ben has, and our first born) , a new cell phone (cuz mine is dying... or dead... it's dead), or a scooter (let's face it, how awesome would that be?!). Anyways, instead of getting any of these options we made a deal. I have a friend at work who is going to Europe for an entire year, all expenses paid (awesome deal) and she wants to sell her furniture. So we looked at it at work. I loved it right away but Ben was a little hesitant. I told him to at least look at it and still, I think hesitation was still there... So we finally went to her house. Ben had the mentality of already saying no to the whole deal BUT I'm pretty sure that the force was used and he changed his mind as soon as he sat in the couch. So we're basically getting a heck of a deal for all the furniture... AND the cutest little...... kitten!! I'll make it very clear now that I am not a cat person. When I was a kid, a cat bit me and since then, I'll admit, I've encouraged my husband and my 3-yr old nephews to throw rocks at the tom cats that hang around my house... I don't like cats... or rather, DIDN'T! Anyways, if you're not a cat lover, you'll just have to see this little cat. She's absolutely adorable and FEISTY! She's definitely not a cat that just sits and gets fat. She's cute and very playful. So there's (in a very big) nutshell, what I'm getting for my birthday: new (for us) furniture and a kitty. Yay!

5. These are probably the biggest things going on in my life right now... Other fun things about our lives: we're wanting to rearrange our whole house before the end of the summer (which doesn't sound like much but with our busy schedules and what we want to do, this will be a task that we will need to try hard to accomplish), ABC.COM (I've been watching WipeOut, I Survived a Japanese Game Show, the Mole, and... yes, the Bachelorette (Go Jason!)), shopping for new clothes.. sigh, I love new clothes.

OK, well this is our busy summer schedule! And shocker... there's only 1 email in my inbox that I have to do. *sigh*

A New Resolve

Muffin Tops!

I wish I could say that I wrote the following but alas, I'm not an entertaining writer (though attempts have been made). So here I am at work, eating my pretzel's from Cabella's and absolutely all caught up with all emails (and it's only 10:30am. Awesome), and I see this letter written to muffin tops. It made me laugh.

Dear Muffin Top,

You’re supposed to be the most delicious part of a breakfast pastry somewhere in a Jewish Deli on the Upper East Side. So, why are you paying rent in the mid-town digs between my hip-huggers and my Wonder Bra?

I know. It’s because my body is an “apple,” and mid-town Manhattan’s Korean BBQ’s are the best way to make an apple grow juicy and satisfying.

But I have something to say to you, Muffin Top. You are being evicted, and I know exactly how to do it without paying renter’s rights. My body’s been sending me letters about the possibility of looming beach belly-tee antics, and it’s time for you to know what’s-what.

You, Muffin Top, are an irrefutable part of the bullet train ride to 30.

At 18, you were the curvy mark of a “real woman,” according to lovers in the sophomore throes of romantic life.

At 22, boys dared call you, “mommy pouch,” knowing it was cute that one day you’d have someone else’s child.

At 25, you started to be mentioned less and less, but felt increasingly, as a psychic question mark.

At 29, your owner’s significant other looked at you and said soothingly, “You’re sexy all over, with a little extra.”

You went by un-noticed, mostly because the scale never lied; it never went up. The change was small, sneaky, dishonest, and before I knew it, there you were, eating out of my fridge like a roommate I didn’t know I had.

Well, Muffin Top, you’ve been discovered, your tricks un-covered. This summer’s reign inside my Juicy tank tops is going to be mine, all mine!

“How?” you wonder.

“Quite simply, with a few snap strategies,” I respond.

You’re going to be occulted and disguised, by the fabulously forgiving high-waisted pants that girls from Alaska to Antarctica are donning and loving, precisely for their power to throw you off your game.

And now that I know of your insipient existence, I’m going to take further measures to keep you from taking over the thoughtful Feng-Shui of my body’s quarters.

You will be submitted to a healthy regime of belly-fighting foods, like fruits and vegetables, reasonable amounts of lean meats, and only 4-5 servings of carbs. You’re going to be worked out with pilates and yoga, which go easy on your landlord’s Calcium-still joints, and build flexibility into the future of her bones. Your reign of terror is going to stop.

But my best weapon, one that will lay you flat, is that you, my friend, are going to find acceptance. You are about to be evicted in the best way a woman knows how. That’s right. You will be taken in, by the community of women, who simply haven’t got the time to worry about you. You’ll be neutralized, stopped by the knowledge that a body changes with time, and grows beautiful with each step of the journey.

So, welcome home, Muffin Top. You are now an official tenant. You and your landlord each have defined rights, and you will no longer run amok in her fridge and behind her designer belts. Welcome, indeed.

Sincerely,

Every woman who worries she’s fat, just because she’s got curves.

Anyways, I thought it was funny and it made me laugh. Definitely blog-worthy (obviously, I'm hard to please... haha, Criteria: Funny, made me laugh... check, check) Yesterday I had an epiphany at work. I was in Oregon this past weekend. It was so much fun (I'm sure pictures will follow sometime soon) and I realized that my family and I didn't go out to eat at all over the weekend. Well, we went out for Glenn's graduation dinner but that's about it. Anyways, it made me realize how much Ben and I go out and eat. It's bad cuz we really do eat out a lot. So here it is, my epiphany: Eat healthy! :) Haha, there's more to this, of course... Eat healthy, home-cooked-planned-a-week-in-advanced meals! I've planned everything a week in advance but I actually have a sorta-plan for the month. I know, amazing. Anyways, I'm excited. I'm not doing this to lose weight or get in shape but I just figured that healthy eating is probably a better alternative to dying early...

Graduation 2008

Oh man, I can't believe that I've finally finished my degree! Here are a few pics from the weekend. My parents came down and we all had a blast!

We purposely sat all 4 Hawaiians graduating in Psychology together.... the poor name reader!

Me & Ben

My family ALWAYS does this pose... It's our "Asian tourist" picture. My mom isn't doing anything funny because she already is asian...

I'm Done!!

Honestly, my family can't take a good picture together at all. This was the only one that we had where the majority of everyone was smiling. I think my dad was in the middle of saying something... at least I hope so :) haha